...I'll tell you who you are. Or so the old saying goes. That only Real love now experienced after the practice of loves felt with an inexperienced heart, but an oh so traveled mind.
Who am I now that I've met you? With you I no longer posess the steadfast confidence in this heart of mine? Yet, why do I trust the path it now follows with you so calmly and with such curiousity?
Safety in being myself with you. Safety lying within those strong arms protected from the world. Safely facing what comes before us, Together.
Safe, yet scared. Scared, yet safe. Full throttle forward. Wanting More of you so much that I feel starved when you're far. And so far that even when you are in the next room my heart melts once again at the sight of those laughing, aquamarine eyes when you are back again by my side.
Thoughts for the future involve an "Us". Can it be? Of course it can, if only you would keep those old masonary workers away from this tired old heart. Let it be. Let it grow and flourish and thrive and...well, let it Love.
BE every second of every minute of every day that you are not with that Us. Develop that strength that you posess - that you know you posess. Your heart is not old. It's young once more when he is around. It's young once more without those tired old walls that clouded m heart from the sunlight that it longed for.
I am lost with You. Found with You. In Love with You.
I'll show you who I love...
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, July 13, 2013
When That One Wish Comes True...
"Who knows how long I've loved you...". How long have I prepared for this? How much practicing did it take and how many scars did my heart have to endure before you gave me the wish I wanted most in this life? You now know what it was and what it is. I'll not tell another soul for it is you who discovered the one desire that no one else could. It was simple really, wasn't it?
Around the world in search of something, someone, anything. The endless hours listening to Piaf's laments and Tina's vindications. Burying myself in those travels, that career. Deeper and deeper. Walls up. Building. A Fortress, really. Moves, escapes physically and emotionally with no results.
An old friend. A somewhat convincing argument to come out of hiding with a struggle to stay where it's safe and dark. Then. Then a cupid with an arrow in his back is brought up from those depths, rising with your lightness. Teacher of Light that you are to me. Laughing. Those eyes in the shade of a sultry aquamarine dancing in the shadows of the 33rd floor with a kiss on the way down stolen. Savored. Saved. Cherished. Held onto tightly.
The heart cannot feel this way. Must not feel this way. "Surely he can't think that way of me?", he thinks. Two hearts that Want, but don't want to hurt. Drifting. Give it up, Marbella. Let him go and with that out of your pocket comes your old adage, "If it's meant to be.....". Hesitant queries in cool words exchanged and searching to see if it's still there or even if it was real.
One year. A long year of trying not ot rebuild those cold walls around this heart. A thought. A rememberance of those eyes, that smile, the comfort of his voice caressing my tired soul and restless heart. Buried once more in work. Then.
A message left on the machine. Not an email, but a voice message. Melt. I'll not show it, but he doesn't believe it and I am sure that my heart is showing once more. I can't fool him. I don't want to fool him. I love being a fool for him. Messages. Calls. Arrangements. And...
We spend the night. One night. Nothing extraordinary for a room, but extraordinary nonetheless for us two. Us Two. And it was. And it is. And it will be.
Tears on departure. Foolish me. I can't hide the melting and the wish that I have had since I was so young. I have never revealed that wish to a soul, but he discovered it. Thank you. Remember that poem I wrote you when we first met? Yes, you do. Thank you, One. My most handsome man. My One.
Around the world in search of something, someone, anything. The endless hours listening to Piaf's laments and Tina's vindications. Burying myself in those travels, that career. Deeper and deeper. Walls up. Building. A Fortress, really. Moves, escapes physically and emotionally with no results.
An old friend. A somewhat convincing argument to come out of hiding with a struggle to stay where it's safe and dark. Then. Then a cupid with an arrow in his back is brought up from those depths, rising with your lightness. Teacher of Light that you are to me. Laughing. Those eyes in the shade of a sultry aquamarine dancing in the shadows of the 33rd floor with a kiss on the way down stolen. Savored. Saved. Cherished. Held onto tightly.
The heart cannot feel this way. Must not feel this way. "Surely he can't think that way of me?", he thinks. Two hearts that Want, but don't want to hurt. Drifting. Give it up, Marbella. Let him go and with that out of your pocket comes your old adage, "If it's meant to be.....". Hesitant queries in cool words exchanged and searching to see if it's still there or even if it was real.
One year. A long year of trying not ot rebuild those cold walls around this heart. A thought. A rememberance of those eyes, that smile, the comfort of his voice caressing my tired soul and restless heart. Buried once more in work. Then.
A message left on the machine. Not an email, but a voice message. Melt. I'll not show it, but he doesn't believe it and I am sure that my heart is showing once more. I can't fool him. I don't want to fool him. I love being a fool for him. Messages. Calls. Arrangements. And...
We spend the night. One night. Nothing extraordinary for a room, but extraordinary nonetheless for us two. Us Two. And it was. And it is. And it will be.
Tears on departure. Foolish me. I can't hide the melting and the wish that I have had since I was so young. I have never revealed that wish to a soul, but he discovered it. Thank you. Remember that poem I wrote you when we first met? Yes, you do. Thank you, One. My most handsome man. My One.
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